Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and .... ?

So - funny story.  A couple of weekends ago, Mark decided to head down to Porter Field, which houses the baseball diamond for the Blagoevgrad Buffaloes (at least that's what the sign said).  On this day the Buffaloes were no where to be seen, but the field was alive with the action of the games of the XIIth Olympiad (AUBG Olympiad, that is).  The AUBG Olympics is a student-organized event highlighting 17 areas of competition from the silly, unimportant sports (like soccer, volleyball and swimming) to those of utmost importance (like dodgeball and tug-o-war).

As mentioned, Mark ventured to this venue, but not really with any particular goal in mind.  However, all that went out the window when, upon arrival Mark ran into Prof. Sam Pinnochio Pimento Potolicchio (let's just call him "SamP").  SamP is a professor of political science at Georgetown University and wins lots of awards for teaching and lecturing and what not BUT, it should be noted, had no previous award in the field of dodgeball.  SamP was in town to give a lecture about charisma and embracing the unknown at the TEDx conference at AUBG.

For those who are unfamiliar, ted.com is a website which carries video copies of short speeches given by a wide range of people on whatever topic each particular speaker chooses.  TED is dedicated to, according to its tagline, "Ideas worth spreading."  TEDx is similar, but is almost like a franchise.  Local groups from pretty much anywhere can arrange a TEDx conference, invite speakers and have an enlightening and exciting evening of spreading ideas.

Everybody's getting fired up!!!

The reason that this is worth mentioning in a post about dodgeball is that on this day Mark learned the following lesson: if a guy who gets flown halfway around the world to speak about charisma and motivation runs into you at a competitive, participatory sporting event, he will convince you to participate in the sporting event.  So, long story... longer, Mark showed up and SamP formed a team.  Although he had not planned to when he woke up that day, Mark ended up playing on that team.

For those of you who are not familiar, dodgeball is a game invented by the gods to settle disputes.  It is still considered to be the most important game in all of the sporting world and only truly great athletes ever win a dodgeball tournament. (editor's note: no source provided for the preceding paragraph)

You may remember the dodgeball scene from the classic film "Billy Madison."

  

Pink polo and mullet?  So awesome.

In this scene, Billy shows agility and guile in his effort to avoid the projectile hurled forth by the competitor.  Interesting fact: the age difference between Billy Madison and these kindergarteners is the same as between Mark and the AUBGers he defeated en route to the title.

You may also remember the great dodgeball film entitled, appropriately enough, Dodgeball.

Purple outfit and mullet.  Possibly the same kid as in the photo above?

In this sports classic, the Globogym Purple Cobras, led by the be-mulleted Whit(e) Goodman, demonstrate the key aspects of dodgeball: violence, exclusion and degradation.

It is primarily from these cinematic athletic roll models that Mark patterns his dodgeball game.  He takes the agility of Billy Madison combined with the intensity and wild throwing inaccuracy of White Goodman and combines them to form one of the most unique dodgeball players ever.

More dodgeball tips: Intensity leads to velocity.  Velocity > accuracy.  The only player who is safe at this point is the player Mark is actually aiming to hit.

Luckily, however, SamP also recruited some GOOD players to be on the team.  Apparently the best players, as team .... I am not sure the team had a name .... won three matches en route to the 2012 AUBG Olympics dodgeball championship!

That bronze medalist guy in the lower right is not happy... he demands a rematch.