Puerto Rico 101

When visiting new places, Anne and Mark almost always learn new things.  Sometimes tour guides or locals explain things to Anne and Mark, but usually they just figure it out on their own.  This is the case in any new place they visit, but for some reason they feel like they may have learned an extra large amount on their visit to Puerto Rico.  For example, in the photo above, a local lizard poses on a sign that says "Bienvenidos."  After taking the picture, Anne and Mark realized that they had just learned not only that lizards could pose for pictures, but also that apparently, 'Bienvenidos' is the magic command that makes them stand perfectly still.  Who knew?

Not every lesson was quite that profound.  For example, one day on the beach, Anne and Mark learned the importance of knowing where your light source is when taking a picture.  

At least we think this is Anne and Mark...

They are still not sure where the light source is supposed to be relative to the subject of the photo, but they did learn that this arrangement doesn't really work.  Live and learn.

They also learned some specific things about religion and the holidays in Puerto Rico.  For example, they learned that even in January, it can be too sunny to take a decent picture of the Christmas tree.

El Tannenbaum?

One day, Anne and Mark visited a local landmark cathedral that dated back to the Spanish colonial days.  There was certainly a lot for them to learn there.  For example, they learned that angels can have multiple different haircuts ...

Cherubim with the 'bowl cut,' Seraphim get the curls?

... and that some religious sculptures include territorial flags (Anne and Mark had of course seen religious sculpture with state and national flags, but never flying the colors of a territory).

Mary, Jesus and La Bandera

Anne and Mark also visited some of the national monuments located on Puerto Rico.  In the old section of San Juan, Anne and Mark visited the two old Spanish forts there, the Castillo San Cristobal and the Castillo San Filipe Del Morro.  While touring these facilities now under the control of the US National Park Service, Mark learned that if you fall down on the staircase (even as a joke) ....

.... a park ranger will come over to check on you and offer assistance.

"Um, no, I was just joking, no need for an ambulance...."

In addition to the protection and service of the national park service, Anne and Mark also learned a bit about the services provided by the local governmental authorities.  In particular, Anne and Mark learned that the authorities governing the public beaches in Puerto Rico are wildly optimistic, but a bit strict.  Consider this (actual, non-photoshopped) photo of a sign taken at a public beach on the eastern end of the island:

Notice anything noteworthy?  That the sign is all in Spanish?  True, but this is not that surprising since most everything on the island is in Spanish.  It's what they speak there.  Anything else?  That word - Bienvenidos - they must be telling a lizard to pose...  Anything else?  How about that picture on the top row, on the left.

Seems a bit optimistic to expect enough snow, especially this close to the El Nino year...

Admittedly, Anne is an Iowa native and Mark is from the great state of Minnesota, so they may be biased.  But to our midwestern adventurers, that looks an awful lot like a snowmobile.  

And consider this other symbol on the sign:

As you can imagine, Anne and Mark did not frolic on this particular beach.  Two reasons.  First, the beach appears to prohibit.... well, women and men.  Bummer.  Second, the beach appears to allow snowmobiles.  While Anne and Mark did remember their cameras and flip-flops, they could not fit the snowmobile into the carry-on.  Too bad.

Lastly, and most importantly, Anne and Mark learned a few things about the people who actually live in Puerto Rico.  All in all, they were very friendly.  They seemed to be having a great time and enjoying life.  For example this guy:

Anne and Mark also learned that this guy was not moving until he got a dollar.

Someday - any day - Mark hopes to be half as happy as that guy appeared to be.  Carry on, my friend.

And why would the people of Puerto Rico not be happy?  Great weather, no federal income taxes.  What else could you ask for?  Anne and Mark learned that in addition to the aforementioned tax advantages, the people of Puerto Rico also enjoy the finer things in life.  For example, a bottle of booze that goes for about $2K and air conditioning in their cars.

This is the life.

I'll have a case, please

Seems legit.

Wet and Wild

If you visit El Junque rain forest and it does not rain, you get your admission price refunded.

Puerto Rico is a Caribbean island that is a territory of the United States.  San Juan is its capital city.  San Juan is also home to an airport that is serviced by AirTran Airlines.  Since Anne and Mark have been racking up frequent flier miles that they could now redeem from AirTran, they decided to spend the last week of winter break in Puerto Rico. 

Anne and Mark realize that some of the readers of this space may be somewhat geographically challenged, particularly on U.S. territories.  So, in an effort to help out, Anne and Mark have posted the approximate location of Puerto Rico (relative to some well-known landmarks).  You're welcome.

For orientation, this map shows the area directly south of Atlantis.

There are tons of recreational activities available on the island, as it boasts both beaches and a rain forest.  In a visit to either place, you are well advised to bring your swimming gear.  The rain forest is visited several times each day by, you guessed it, rain.  The beaches are generally clean and easily accessed and are suitable for all sorts of oceanside fun.

Anne and Mark first visited the El Junque National Forest.  This is the only legitimate rain forest in the United States.  As such, Anne and Mark (who are Americans), have spent some time in forests, but do not have a great deal of experience in rain forests.  So, on this visit they learned a few things.  First and foremost, the name - RAIN forest - is no joke.  It rains and stops and rains and stops and rains and stops.  Kind of like at the Rain Forest Cafe.  The difference is that the food at El Junque was a little better.  Go figure.

Before Mark attempted to climb it, this tree was perfectly vertical.  True story.

Mark was, as usual, tricked into hiking by the nefarious tactics of Anne.  As has been chronicled in this space on several occasions, Mark has a body type that is not built for hiking (or cardiovascular activity of any kind or vegetables or middle seats on airplanes or getting pushed around by small Venetian women or shirts that are XL or smaller or .... I could go on, but let's try to stay focused here).  After .7 kilometers (which is approximately "miles and miles" according to Mark's complaint filed with the El Junque National Forest) of hiking through "dense and undeveloped brush" (again, these are the terms taken from the complaint filed by Mark - the National Forest authority refers to the same path as a "partially paved trail"), Anne and Mark found the El Mina waterfall - one of the most popular sites for visitors in the forest.

For those of you who do not speak Spanish, 'El Mina' is Spanish for 'the Mina.'

Anne's death march through the jungle ("hike") began early in the morning, so when Anne and Mark arrived, no one else was present at the falls.  So, despite it being 7:30 am in early January, Anne and Mark switched over to swimming gear and jumped in the waterfall.

Mark takes advantage of 'nature's changing room' and shows off his sweet "6 months in Bulgaria" tan.

Anne's head floats into El Mina falls.

Later, on a separate day, in fact, Anne and Mark engaged in the beach variety of recreational activities that Puerto Rico had to offer.  They took a catamaran ride on the eastern side of the island (they were staying in a town called Ceiba, which is on the eastern side) and stopped off at a couple of places to snorkel.  At the second stop, Mark jumped in the water and, after a few minutes, spotted a stingray trolling on the sea floor.  Mark popped his head up to alert nearby snorkelers to this find.  One of the crew members on the catamaran heard Mark and suggested that Mark dive to the bottom and grab the ray on the outside of its fins and take a ride.  Needless to say, that catamaran company got a poor review on tripadvisor.com.

The other highlight of the snorkel adventure was probably the discovery of Anne's newfound calling as the fish whisperer.  While Mark splashed about in slow, lazy circles, Anne was consistently surrounded by fish of all stripes.  She even had them virtually eating out of her hand.

Nice grab, my friend.

After a long day of vacationing, there's no better way than to top it off with a walk on the beach.  Anne and Mark don't mind if they do.

Christmas Break in the U.S.A.

First, an apology.  Since last we posted here, 237 of you have checked in to see if there has been a new development in the adventures of Anne and Mark.  Unfortunately, you web surfers found no new content here, as Anne and Mark have not posted anything new in nearly five weeks.  Sorry about that.  Particular apologies go out to new readers in South Korea and Paraguay. 미안합니다 and lo siento, respectively.

Eventually, Mark got back on a plane and flew back to Bulgaria.  Unfortunately, his flight from Charlotte to Munich left right after kickoff of the Packers-Giants playoff game.  Since Mark has been hearing so much from the Packer fans all year about how great that team is, he simply assumes that the mighty Packers won that game and will advance in the playoff hunt.  When do they play again?

This is not to say, of course, that nothing happened in those five weeks, just that Anne and Mark were not near their computer long enough to write about it.  On their way back to the states last December, Anne and Mark stopped first in Atlanta to visit family.  Then they drove to Chicago to jump through hoops for the Bulgarian consulate in the futile hope that Anne could be issued a visa to stay in Bulgaria for a few months.  On their way to the windy city, Anne and Mark stopped in a small town called Lynchburg, Tennessee.

Anne stands next to the world's largest bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey, or, as Mark referred to it, "about the right size."

For anyone who is not familiar, Lynchburg is the home of the Jack Daniels whiskey distillery.  However, Lynchburg is located in Monroe County, Tennessee.  Monroe County has the distinction of being one of the few remaining dry counties in Tennessee.  When you consider these together, the situation appears absurd: they make whiskey in a place where you are not allowed to buy or consume whiskey?  Yes.  Yes, they do.

Mark posed with a statue of Jack Daniels in front of the spring from which the water used in the product is taken.

After touring the distillery and related facilities, Anne and Mark headed north for the holidays.  The use of the term "holidays"is not an attack or slight on Christmas, but instead a recognition of several holidays that occur in rapid succession: Christmas, Mark's birthday (28 years young), New Year's Day, Anne and Mark's anniversary (not sure on the exact date, but it's around there somewhere) and, of course, the day of the college football national championship game.  After all that celebrating, Anne and Mark needed a break.  So they hopped a plane to Puerto Rico....