London Calling

While in London, Anne and Mark were able to see at least some of the sights there.  The goal, as always when visiting a new city, is to experience a good mix of touristy activities and "local flavor."  But, given the short period of time they spent in London and the hundreds of thousands of people who seemed to be opposing their efforts to even move around in the city, this was a tall order for Anne and Mark.  Rest assured they did their best.

While avoiding the protesters, Anne and Mark did manage to get around the city at least a little bit and see a few major landmarks including Westminster Abbey, which is already undergoing preparations for the wedding of his royal highness Prince What'sHisName (the stumbling guy from the King's Speech) and Kate SomethingOrOther (by the way, what happens to her last name when she becomes queen someday?  Does her last name legally become "of England"?), which are to be held there at the end of April, and the Globe Theatre (a reproduction of Shakespeare's theatre, re-built because the original was burned in a large fire).

Westminster Abbey

The Globe Theatre as viewed aboard a boat on the River Thames.

Anne and Mark attempted to see certain other landmarks.  One of the most mysterious was marked on their map as, simply, "The Monument."  This was intriguing and - significantly - on their way, so Anne and Mark attempted to see what monument was so significant that it really did not require a specific name.  Unfortunately, despite Mark's legendary map interpretation skills, Anne and Mark were unable to locate it.

According to this, we should be able to see it from here....

One famous feature of London is its Underground, or subway system.  It is remarkably easy to use, especially when considering how old it is.  According to one of the announcement that played while Anne and Mark rode on 'the Tube,' the oldest parts of it date back to the 1860s or 1870s (actually, the announcement could have said "1970s" - the whole announcement sounded a bit like Charlie Brown's teacher).

Tube stop at Baker Street - This is a real place that was home to the fictional British detective Sherlock Holmes.

One of the favorite activities of Anne and Mark is to take public transportation to a location in a new city and then wander around from there, seeing what they can see.  They attempted that technique in London - but ended up smack in the middle of a huge protest.  That's part of the experience, though, and Anne and Mark were able to navigate their way out of the crowd and eventually to the British Museum.  On their way there, they ran across a few interesting items worthy of mention.  First, they saw the London Film Museum.

This museum was a bit of a disappointment.  Once inside, Anne and Mark noticed that the museum consisted entirely of the James Bond films being played on a continuous loop with a short interlude of Benny Hill clips played in between each feature, and a display of movie posters and VHS tapes relating to the Austin Powers series of movies.  Anne and Mark question the legitimacy of the entire set up.

Speaking of questionable legitimacy -> Henry VIII.  London, of course, is home to the Church of England, which split from the Roman Catholic Church under Henry VIII so that he could divorce Queen Catherine and marry Anne Boleyn (things did not work out so well for Anne, either, though as shortly thereafter, she lost her head on Tower Green - If you have trouble remembering the fates of Henry's 6 wives, remember: divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived).  

As a result of Henry's creation of a new church and the pope's predictably negative reaction to it, Catholicism became a tough sell in England for the next several hundred years.  They have Roman Catholic churches there now, but it remains a tough sell.  But let us give credit where credit is due, at least the Catholics there are making an effort - and they know what they need to do to put some Catholics in the pews.

Ok, padre, you have one minute to save my soul.... and.... GO!

Eventually, Anne and Mark made it to the British Museum.  According to its own description of itself, the British Museum contains the greatest record of civilization in the world.  (Apparently, the record of civilization they have acquired took all the space, and they had no room for their collection of modesty)

The first exhibit at the British Museum, as at the Vatican Museum, was of artifacts recovered from Egypt.  Despite having never visited Egypt, for the second time Anne and Mark were overwhelmed with Egyptian antiquities.

Apparently, the only place where Anne and Mark can NOT view Egyptian antiquities: Egypt.

So, when the British Museum made the claim stated above, Anne and Mark were initially skeptical.  Best record of civilization in the word?  That is quite a claim.  But the skepticism of Anne was short lived as this museum delivered on its promises.  After viewing the Egyptian statues, Anne and Mark had the chance to view the Rosetta Stone.

The Rosetta Stone is a large stone that contains carvings in three languages: Greek, Demotic and Egyptian hieroglyphs.  Prior to its discovery, the hieroglyphs, especially, were not well understood.  However, when the archeologists who conducted research on the stone concluded that the stone contained the same message in multiple languages, they were able to better decode the unknown language.  The term 'Rosetta Stone' has since become synonymous with the key to decoding something.

Priceless Greek pottery artifact - normal reaction is "Wow!"  After an hour in the British Museum - reaction to same item is "Eh.... what's next?"

The British Museum contains room after room of priceless artifacts from multiple historical periods and geographical regions.  It is one of the most impressive collections of historical artifacts that Anne and Mark have ever wandered through.  But this museum is not limited to displays of items with historical significance, it also displays artistic works.  Immediately prior to leaving the museum, they made their final stop at the art section of the museum.

The art section of the British Museum has temporary exhibits, except for a larger than life size drawing by Michelangelo.  That stays put.  The temporary exhibit that Anne and Mark walked through was focused on 19th and 20th century drawings.  One of the most interesting pieces was the book pictured above.  It is actually a guest book for a peace conference that had a very impressive guest list, including a young artist named Pablo Picasso.  Apparently, if you are Pablo Picasso, you do not just write your name in the guest book, you do two priceless works of art on adjoining pages.  On the one hand, this is fantastic and generous and outstanding.  But on the other hand, I feel a little sympathy for whoever had to sign the guest book on the next page: "Bill Smith, Terre Haute, IN - Nice conference, guys.  Thanks."  

Page 22-23 - Pable Picasso.  Page 24 - Bill Smith from Terre Haute.  Poor Bill.

In any event, the British Museum is one of those places where there is actually too much significant information to process it all.  In order to truly appreciate it, Anne and Mark will have to visit several more times.

Later that evening, Anne and Mark got a little more culture, as they journeyed to the West End theatre district and took in a show.  It was a very impressive production of The Lion King.

The plot was exactly the same as the Disney film of the same name, but as that film is a cartoon, there were some significant differences in visuals and staging.  The characters were portrayed by actors with elaborate costumes designed to create the visual effect of watching an animal move rather than a person portraying an animal.  There were several occasions when the visual effect was overwhelming - which is exactly what you look for in a show like this.

After the show, Anne and Mark debated whether the story had a true moral to it, vis-a-vis the Scar character.  If you have seen the film, you know that Scar takes control of the kingdom, but runs it poorly and eventually Simba returns from exile at the insistence of Nala and .... some other characters .... to challenge Scar for the throne.  Mark's analysis focused on Scar's management abilities.  Simply stated, the pride never wanted him removed for moral or ethical reasons (even though he was sketchy), they wanted him removed only when it became clear that he did not know how to run a kingdom.  Moral of the story: do not be a bad manager or the lions will turn on you.  Words to live by.

Anarchy in the U.K.

Last Saturday, Anne and Mark attempted to visit the sights along the Thames (not sure how that is pronounced, but it definitely does NOT rhyme with 'James') River in London.  Unfortunately, their path was blocked by about 200,000 British protesters.  Maybe they heard Anne and Mark were coming.

Readers of this blog will remember (*editor's note: in actuality, we doubt that anyone who reads this blog will remember anything that was posted earlier) that Anne and Mark already had to change travel plans due to unrest in Egypt this semester and missed a bus due to an afternoon-only strike in Amalfi, Italy last semester (*editor's note - Anne and Mark have committed to not visiting Wisconsin any time soon due to recent protests in that unsettled area - also because the Packers fans are super annoying after they win the Super Bowl).  Always attempting to avoid conflict, they chose a nice, safe location - the U.K. - for a long weekend and boom -> protest.  Not to be paranoid but... are all of these people really protesting the visit of Anne and Mark?

In Madison, Cairo and Amalfi, Anne and Mark believe the answer is no, but in the case of the London protest it is all together possible.  Anne and Mark stood near the protest for some time (they really could not go anywhere else with such a large crowd blocking all the streets), but were not able to figure out exactly what the protest was against.  The photo above seems to show a protest against austerity measures.  But is that what these people are protesting?

Protesting troop involvements in far away wars?  Ok... but what does that have to do with cuts to the salaries and benefits of public employees and education?

The Cornwall and Isle of Scilly contingent appears to be actually promoting their nut industry rather than protesting anything...

Standing up for the rights of "Thing" from the Addams Family?  Seems like a good cause, but it makes you ask the question - why now?

Not sure exactly what was going on, Anne and Mark decide that they should probably ask someone...  Who looks like they know what's going on???

Caption contest: "Just back from Mardi Gras - What a Party!" or "Why so serious?"

.... um, no.....

Kent Brockman?  Maybe he could tell us, but he looks busy (holding his own boom microphone?  this guy is a real pro)...

How about this guy?

Tony.

Say what you will, but the grown man in the tiger costume smoking a cigarette and appearing to be wildly inebriated at one in the afternoon raised some interesting arguments regarding the current coalition government and its attitudes toward the business community vis-a-vis the working man in this economic recovery period.  He then added, "Theeeey're GREAT"

So, eventually, Anne and Mark figured out that the protest was arranged by an organized labor entity, but was joined in by "organized anarchists."  Ok, a few problems with that.  If an anarchist organizes, does he cease to exist?  This is like a procrastinator who gets an early start or a lawyer who tells the truth - it immediately ceases to be the thing it was before, aye mate?

Second, how do you get anarchists to show up on time and stay on point?  Apparently you don't.  They protest whatever they feel like, whenever they want, in whatever way they feel like (of course they do, they're ANARCHISTS!)

In this protest, they took some interesting tactics.  It was reported in various sources that they attacked a branch of a bank with bottles and rocks and occupied a department store (not sure what the goal is when you occupy a department store, but then again, Anne and Mark are not anarchists).  The next day, Anne and Mark drove by the area of one of the protests and surveyed the damage.

The heart and arrow was deemed to be "cute" and will be on display for 3-6 weeks.

This graffiti was found on that common target of protest - the Ritz Hotel.  The A with a circle around it is a symbol meaning anarchy (probably?).  What did Ritz do to upset the protesters?  It's not clear - again, they're anarchists.  In any event, this probably really got the attention of the establishment annoyed some poor janitor who had to clean it up on Monday.  But department stores and hotels were not the only targets of the anarchists.  They also stuck it to the banks and the press.  Kind of.

The plywood covers a window broken in the protest.  Spray paint spells out "Beat the Banker" on the next window.

Ok, I realize that you are saying that the newspaper is right wing.  However, your arrow is actually pointing at the left wing of the angel in the logo.  I'm not telling you how to protest, I'm just saying...

But this is not to say that the protesters were all violent or all anarchists, this is a small group.  For the most part, it was a huge, peaceful protest.  And it appeared to have been well planned.  Anne and Mark saw promotional materials for it far out into the English countryside.  And it appears that the protesters were well informed of their rights by the organizers.

Box at the bottom: "For more information, get a bustcard."  Bustcard?  Is that like a 'booby prize'?

Learning the Language

Everywhere that they travel, Anne and Mark are amazed by the ability of the people they meet to communicate in multiple languages.  Even more amazing is the fact that even though they speak only one language, nearly everywhere they have visited Anne and Mark have found at least one person who spoke their native tongue.  This was the case last weekend when Anne and Mark took the three hour flight to the United Kingdom.

Tower of London to the right (even though it is only about 30 feet high, they call it a 'tower' - part of the language barrier Anne and Mark encountered), Tower Bridge on the left in the distance.

Now, let us be clear to not overstate the point.  Anne and Mark could certainly not understand everything they heard on this trip (it's not like traveling to Italy or Turkey).  The language used in the U.K. sounds a bit like an interview of Mick Jagger from the 1960s, an interview with Ozzy Osbourne from today, or any dialogue from the film "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels."  Essentially, the speaker belts out 30 or 40 seconds of sounds - usually it sounds as if it is all one word - and then signals that he or she is finished speaking by saying "Itn't it?" or "Aye, mate?"  At this point, it is best to smile at the speaker and hope he or she moves on.

View of Big Ben (named after a fat guy named Ben) and the houses of Parliament (named after houses of Parliament).  You can see some of the protesters who bolluxed Anne and Mark's sight seeing on Saturday.

Granted, it would be easier if they spoke the same language that we speak in the U.S., but there is a certain charm to visiting places and having no idea what is going on.  For example, Anne and Mark landed at the airport around 8 in the morning and saw a large group of drunk men not properly dressed for the weather.

It's a little breezy for that outfit, itn't it lads?

But you got to love local customs.  Anne and Mark sought out some of them.

Drinking beer = international custom.  Drinking beer with Union Jacks in the background = U.K. custom

But all in all, it was great to experience a new culture and see the attempts they are making in the U.K. to speak our language.  All of the attempts are valiant, but some are clearly more successful than others.  For example, it is good to identify a trash can and label it as such.  Maybe even call it a "bin" for "rubbish."  I think we could work with that.

Ok, good try, but this is a gigantic failure.  "Trash" goes in the can, but "litter" goes on the ground.

I guess it could have been worse....

Ok... looks like we might have to start from scratch on this language thing...

Time to Ask Some Questions

From time to time Anne and Mark are able to see things that are exciting and fun.  Sometimes they see things that have historical significance and cultural relevance.  And sometimes, they see other stuff.  And this other stuff, well it can raise a few questions.  And, since Anne and Mark are professors, it is only natural that rather than answering these questions themselves, they force other people to answer the questions for them, taking credit for the rigor and creativity that went into finding the best answers - as their own.

Which brings us to the interactive portion of our blog - if anyone out there in Reader-Land has answers to these questions, you are invited to share them in the comments section.  As always, creativity is appreciated more than accuracy.  And as a special incentive, for this post only, the top prize is 100 free internets (wow! that sounds like a lot), so get your answers in quickly!!!!



Question #1: History

What were the 'Dirty Sports Funny Games'?  Oh - a University Contest 1968?  That clears it up.

The question is in two parts (A) What competitions, exactly, were held during these games? and (B) How did the Bulgarian team do?




Question #2: Sports

Some questions are more existential (Mark uses this word a lot, but clearly does not understand what it means), like, what's wrong with notice any thing strange in this picture?

The painting above was found in the old city of Jerusalem.  That is the sort of thing Anne and Mark expected to find there (well, most of the painting they expected to find in Jerusalem - with the only qualifier being the detail that eagle-eyed readers must have spotted by now was definitely not expected).

There are other things that were less expected in the places that they were found.  Like this statute, found outside a restaurant located on the road between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

I wonder if they serve peanut-butter and banana sandwiches...

Let's make this easy - Multiple choice format

Question #3: Art

What is the best title for the statue pictured above?

a. "A Whole Lotta Elvis Goin On"
b. "Bob's Big Boy Before He Ate All Them Burgers"
c. "Here's Looking at You, Kid"
d. other




Question #4: Foreign Languages/ Social Studies

The photo below is of a confessional found at a church in Bethlehem:

Why are the names of the languages both written in English?

Which side hears the more interesting confessions?





Question #5: Mathematics

From Istanbul.  Please solve the following:

Granted, this is ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.  But come on, just above the bird, that kind of looks like the top of a TV with bunny ears.... I'm just sayin.....

Please round your answer to the nearest... raven.


Question #6: Extremely Handsome Men

That guy stole our parachute

Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Please spot five differences between these photos:











Extra Credit - Give yourself five extra points if you actually answered any of these questions.

Grades will be posted by the weekend.

It Must Be a Sign

In their travels, Anne and Mark have come across signs in various places.  As readers of this blog will attest, Anne and Mark are experts at interpreting what is meant by the signs, as demonstrated here and here.  But Anne and Mark are not the types to rest on their laurels.  They did more traveling, they saw more signs.  They have more expert analysis.  For example:

Interpreting this first sign, noticed at a park in Istanbul, is child's play.  The top figure is a man giving a speech at a podium, so if you want to hear the speech, come this way.  The other three figures are suggested methods to get to the speech.  First, you can drive through the park.  Second, you can ride a dog.  Third, you can trample through the flowers.  Anne and Mark chose the third option and tore up that garden real good.

That was pretty easy, let's get to something a little tougher.  This sign was spotted on the cliffs near Qumran.  It is advertising for the cliff diving that they have available at that site.

Literally: "Cliff Diving" and "Exciting!"

The only confusing part about this one was why anyone would go cliff diving in a place that did not have water.  But Anne and Mark just chalked that up to local custom.

Some of the signs were somewhat disappointing.  For example, this one:

Anne and Mark concluded that this sign indicated that this beach in Tel Aviv did not allow dogs.

If that is correct, what should Anne and Mark conclude about this sign?

This was at another beach in Tel Aviv.  It obviously bans cars and motorcycles.  That top image however, appears to be a dog wearing a yarmulke.  Apparently this beach only bans Jewish dogs.  To have such a ban in this day and age is just sad.

Most signs are in place to help individuals figure out the correct place to do a certain thing.  For example, if a person with no arms who had been severed in half was looking for the stairs, a sign like this might be helpful:

Signs that make things easier for the lives of the arm-less half people.

Similarly, if you are a man wearing a hat and need to know where to cross the street, you would look for this sign.

Men with no hats, of course, would need to cross the street somewhere else.

Other signs are put in place to commemorate important historical or cultural events, like these signs from Jerusalem, which appear to commemorate the first half hour of the movie Footloose:

Wow - that Footloose joke was a bit of a stretch, wasn't it?  Shut up - it's our blog and we'll stretch if we want!

But for all their efforts, Anne and Mark could not solve them all.  There are still a few signs out there that they did not figure out, like this one:

This could mean just about anything.

International Marketing 101

Anne and Mark have learned a great deal during their time in Europe.  First, a kilogram is about 2.2 pounds.  Second, these people REALLY love soccer.  Third, cutting in line is not only not rude, you're a bit of a sucker if you DON'T do it.

But these are the easy things.  The really valuable knowledge is in understanding the differences between and among cultures.  This is a skill that marketers find particularly valuable.  For example, in the U.S. we have Donald Duck.  In Ramallah, they have Happy Duck.

Of course he's happy, he's been running around with no pants on for 50 years.

Easy Enough.  Another example: Selling Cheetos in the U.S.?  There nothing to it: high-fructose corn syrup mixed with a "cheese-like" product packaged into a foil bag with a cartoon cheetah on it.   Easy squeezy.  But what about selling Cheetos in Israel?  Could be a challenge, but might be worth a shot.  Mark noticed that the good people at Cheetos had made the effort, so he went ahead and sampled their product.

Something was different.  Mark did not notice when he bought the bag, but he darn sure figured it out when he bit in.

It's not easy, being (peanut) cheesy.

Obviously, the cheetah looks familiar.  The writing is a little different, but it's in Hebrew, so you expect that.  What do you not expect?  Peanut flavoring.  The little bar with white lettering on the left of Chester Cheetah's face has a picture of peanuts.  Have you ever bit into something expecting the beautiful taste explosion of a Cheeto and instead got a mouthful of crunchy peanut and orange flavoring? (that would refer to the flavor of the color orange, not the fruit of the same name)  Mark reports that it is not recommended.

So sometimes the entire product has to be altered in order to be successful when moving from one place to another.  You need to understand the culture to understand the different tastes.  Some people like fake-cheese in their Cheetos, others like fake peanuts.  Fair enough.  One of the other things you're going to need to understand is the language differences.  And this means more than just learning the words.  It's about culture.  For example, say you're riding around on your motorized two-wheeled vehicle.  One of your friends comes up to you and asks, "Hey, nice ride - what kind is that?"  In some places, you may want to reply with something like this is my "Harley," "Chopper," or "Hog."  The connotations associated with these words in some cultures invoke feelings of strength, independence, and general awesomeness.

In other places, you may reply by saying, "This is my.... DINK."

Is that your new DINK?  Yeah, I finally splurged and got the new 200 Classic.  Awesome.

Let's hope that "Dink" has some connotations in Israel that are very different from what they are in the U.S.

The food service industry is particularly competitive almost wherever you go.  Whether a restaurant is successful or not can depend on the small details: for example, not only on whether the food that is being served is popular with the customers, but also on how well the proprietor of the restaurant is able to convince potential customers that the food is worth them taking the risk of ordering it in the first place.  Often times restauranteurs will write short captions to accompany the offerings on their menu.  If these captions are enticing, a patron may order the dish.  On the other hand, if the captions are like these....

Two or three entries above "Pancakes" on the Turkish menu above.  Under what circumstances would a person order - for the purpose of eating, keep in mind - a dish called or translated as "Waste Bottle"?  Similarly, it is difficult to conjure the confidence to order a dish that the restaurant describes as "Should Be Crushed Under."  Not just defeated, it should actually be crushed?  Sounds hostile.  What's the backstory here?  Did that dish anger the other dishes on the menu and now they seek vengeance?

Other menus take a different tact.  For instance, consider this menu from Bulgaria.  Say what you will about the Bulgarians, but they do not mince words.  This menu does not focus so much on writing a flowery sales pitch, as much as on just telling you what you're getting.  Take it or leave it.

"Drinks That Make You Dizzy" - Finally, truth in advertising.

But it could have been worse.  At least these menus actually got opened.  There are some others that make it pretty clear from the start that they're selling something you do not want to be buying.

The beer here always tasted funny.

When the cover of a menu has a picture of a guy peeing, do you really think I am going to order food from you?  Just asking.

But Anne and Mark have noticed that it is inaccurate to paint with a broad brush, some people are getting it, some people are not.

Just above "Get A Free Gift!" is the admonition "Let's Shopping!"  Let's shopping, indeed.  What this place lacked in predicate use and sentence structure, it more than made up for in enthusiasm and exclamation points.  You go, Kiev duty free store!  Maybe marketing (and capitalism itself) can work in this part of the world.....

Not that anyone asked.

....maybe not.