Check It Off the List - Oh, Yeah!

It's not the heat, it's the humidity that gets you.

Like many people, Anne and Mark have a list of things that they would like to accomplish.  On this list are things like living abroad, traveling, and generally enjoying our time on this planet... that sort of thing.

Separately, Mark has a list of personal goals - things he would like to accomplish in his lifetime.  (Anne is on board for some of these, but finds others to be... unworthy of effort.)  Some people (like Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson) would call this a 'bucket list,' but that seems a bit morose.  Mark is not certain what, exactly, to call his list.  (In fact, one of the first things on the list is to come up with the proper name for the list itself.)  Anne, on the other hand is fairly comfortable referring to it as "that weird list you keep in the drawer."

The photo at the top of this post is the result of an attempt to achieve a goal that Mark had set and put on the list.  On a relatively cold day in March of 2010, Anne, Mark and a guy with an oddly oversized hat jumped into a hole that had been cut in the frozen surface of Lake Harriet in Minneapolis.  Thankfully, all three survived the harrowing plunge into 36 inches of water and minutes of coldness that followed, prior to the trio reaching the safety of the hot tubs located on the shore (sadly, the oversized hat was not so fortunate and was never seen again).  After taking the plunge, item number 58 was crossed off the list.

The items on the list have few similarities.  They range from the simple to the complex, the easy to the nearly impossible.  For example, item #57 - the same job for 5 years?  Do people even do that anymore?

There are some other entries on the list that seem nearly as daunting a challenge as uniform employment for a half-decade.  Consider this section of the list of goals:

Goal #110, which now seems a bit violent, was added to the list after Mark was the victim of several unjust and malicious parking citations inflicted on him by the "City" of Milwaukee.  While writing the check to cover the fines, Mark vowed his fiery revenge, and added goal #110 to the list.  But, given the alcohol content and resultant flammability of Milwaukee, and Wisconsin as a whole quite frankly, goal #110 seems like it would be relatively easy to achieve.  Not that Mark is ever going to actually do it......

Now consider goal #112.  Drink a Duff brand beer?  Is that even possible?  Fans of the Simpsons television show will recognize Duff as the libation of choice of the residents of Springfield, and will probably also recognize the Duff brand's corporate shill, Duff Man.  Oh, yeah!

Duff Man speaks about Duff Man in the third person.  Oh, yeah!!!

Seeing Duff Man always made Mark believe that he would have so much fun if only he could taste a Duff beer.  So Mark added this to his list.  But alas, the exact location of Springfield is never revealed on the show, and Duff beer has remained elusive....

Until now.  At the end of their trip to Croatia, Montenegro and Bosnia and Herzegovina, Anne and Mark had a layover in Munich, Germany.  The layover was scheduled to be 4 hours long.  This is enough time to do SOMETHING, but since the airport is located out in the boonies, this is not really enough time to travel to the city and see the sights.  So Anne and Mark exited security and went to a shopping mall located just outside the airport.  In the shopping mall, they found a grocery store.  Wandering the aisles of the grocery, Mark hit paydirt.

Are you kidding me?  Duff beer 6-packs?  And not only the fact that they exist, but how awesome is it to find them while in Germany?  Not only was it legal to walk around with an open beer at 2 in the afternoon, it was kind of expected.

There have been opportunities in life that Mark has allowed to pass him by: Apple stock at $15 per share, that job offer at that other law firm, healthy dietary options available on a daily basis, etc.  Mark allowed all of these things to pass by without seizing them.  But the chance to drink a Duff beer was one opportunity that he was NOT going to let slip away.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you goal #112 - ACHIEVED!!!

The sweet taste of achievement - Oh, Yeah!!!

Victory.  Achievement.  Pride.  The emotions flowed fast and furious.  Normally, this would be quite a lot for one day.  Some of the goals on the list are achieved over years of meticulous planning and hard work.  (ok, not many, but it's possible)  To achieve a goal this quickly was almost too much to process..... But even so, the day was STILL not over yet.

At the other end of the shopping area was a McDonald's.  Anne and Mark, in a fit of 'stomach patriotism,' wandered into the restaurant looking to buy some good, old-fashioned American food.  They were surprised to encounter this:

 The McDonald's "Easy Order."  Using this machine, customers could enter their orders without interacting with the wait staff at all (someone in the back received the order and prepared it and the customer picked it up at the counter, but at no point was employee-customer interaction necessary).  Was the "Easy Order" actually easier than the conventional method of ordering food at a restaurant?  No, apparently this phrase is German for "Slow Process" as it took 2 or 3 times as long as it would have taken to fly to Chicago to pick up a Big Mac and fly back, but that delay is just a small price to pay for this sort of progress.

And more importantly, a small price to pay for Mark to achieve of one of his most recently-established life goals.

Just cross 172 right off the list.  Head's up on 170.  You know who you are.