First Day Trip - Jerusalem

After a day or so in Tel Aviv, it was time for a day trip.  Anne and Mark, along with the faculty members with whom they attended the theatre production on their first night in Tel Aviv, journeyed to Jerusalem.  The group had the benefit of an experienced guide.  Solomon was a retired veteran of the Israeli military and was very knowledgable regarding all of the important sights, so his presence added quite a lot to the experience.

The drive took a little over an hour and the first place Solomon stopped in Jerusalem was a panoramic overlook just on the outskirts of the city.

Jeez, Mark, get a haircut.

Just over Mark's right shoulder, the walled city of Jerusalem is visible.  The actual walled city (the "Old City") represents only about 10% of the modern metropolis.  Anne and Mark are basically standing on the border between Israeli controlled territory and Palestinian controlled territory (Mark is on the Israeli side, Anne is on the Palestinian).  The elevated area over Anne's left shoulder is the Mount of Olives, where we later found the Garden of Gethsemane, the Basilica of the Agony, and the Garden Tomb... but we'll get to all of that later.

The next stop was the King David Hotel, which is the fancy-pants hotel in Jerusalem.  All the big shots stay there when they are in town (Anne and Mark did not stay there, as they are neither fancy-pants nor big shots).  In fact, the day we stopped in, Solomon spoke to the hotel staff and found out that the hotel was preparing for a lunch that day that would be attended by the Chinese commerce minister.  A real invite-only power lunch... Can't help but wonder what they had on the menu.

In any event, they had lunch there later that day (we assume).  Before leaving the King David hotel, visitors should look down.  The hotel has taken the autographs of the big muckity-mucks who have stayed there and placed them on the floor.

Example 1

Example 2

The next stop was the market in the old city of Jerusalem.   We entered through the Jaffa Gate - so named because it was on the side of the city which had Jaffa Road, which leads to - you guessed it - Jaffa (now contained within the city of Tel Aviv).  So, everyone remember where we parked.

Jaffa Gate is on the border between the Christian quarter and the Armenian quarter.  The other two quarters are Muslim and Jewish.  The reasons why each is controlled by who it is controlled by is a long and complicated story beyond the scope of this blog or the understanding of its writers.  That's the kind of question a person could major in.  That being said - the Armenian quarter?  Jewish, Christian and Muslim - Ok, those are big-time religions, millions of followers, that makes sense.  An entire quarter for the Armenians?  How did that happen?

While the Roman Empire allowed Christianity beginning in 312 A.D., the Armenians had already been running pilgrimages to Jerusalem by then.  Armenia had been declared a "Christian state" by its king a decade earlier.  So they basically had an early mover advantage over the other Christians, and they've managed to maintain the claim over the years.  Good for them.

Anyway, Anne and Mark entered through the Jaffa gate and hung a left to the Christian quarter.  They were immediately thrust into a lively marketplace.

Recognize anyone?

As you might imagine, Jerusalem gets its share of visitors, as it has for thousands of years.  The market here is set up strictly for the visitors, not for the locals.  If you are a practitioner of a major western religion, boy howdy, do they have a deal for you.

One significant difference between salesmanship in the United States and the Middle East is the level of involvement.  Anne and Mark were eventually led to a small shop by their guide Solomon.  Solomon introduced them to his friend, who was the shop owner.  The friend did not attempt to sell anything to Anne and Mark (well, not right away :-).  Instead, he brought tea.  Then, they sat and talked for quite a while.  Eventually, having learned that Anne and Mark are (fairly) recently married, the shop owner got out a traditional wedding outfit for each of them and had them try it on.

Mark models the authentic "cheap watch" that is essential to the traditional wedding ceremony.

Regular readers of this space may be aware of the fact that Mark is cursed blessed with an abnormally large cranium.  More than once this has been the source of ridicule dished upon Mark by his "friends."  And while Mark may put on a brave face on the outside, it is clearly tearing him up on the inside.  Sometimes, in fact, Mark has to cry himself to sleep on his huge pilla.  Anyway, to head off any unnecessarily cruel speculation, let's just get this out of the way: Yes, when Mark put the headdress on, the band popped off.  No, they did not have one large enough that it would fit.  Frankly, it was not even close.  Eventually, to get the picture taken, they had to just set the band on top of Mark's head and have him hold still.  These facts are not in dispute.  (We welcome your comments regarding this or any other portion of the blog post.  Please remember, creativity is appreciate more than accuracy, so put on your thinking caps.  The best comment regarding Mark's mega-cranium will receive a prize of ten internets (sounds like a lot)).

Anne's headdress, on the other head hand, fit perfectly, but was a bit heavy.  The shop owner informed Anne that this was because there was about $2,000 worth of silver coins hanging from the front of it.  This is all well and good for a photo, but wearing that for an entire wedding ceremony and related festivities?  Sounds like a lot of work.

Before leaving the market area, Anne and Mark picked up a few souvenirs and visited many shops.  The spice markets were particularly interesting and worth noting.  While in the U.S. the spices are packaged into small bottles to be placed in racks constructed by students in Intermediate Woodworking class in junior high schools throughout the land, spices in this part of the world are displayed in a way that makes them easier to see and smell, and that much more enticing.

Main attraction of Israel Disneyland: "Spice Mountain"

Lunch that day was falafel - which we can now report roughly translates to "heroin for Anne."  Once Anne got a taste for it, she wanted it for nearly every meal.  Nay 'wanted,' she Needed it for every meal.  Between meals.  Last thing before bed, first thing in the morning.  It soon became clear, Anne has a real problem.  A falafel problem.  Another person lost to the siren song of the chick pea.  Just tragic.